Vision, Fear, Dependence, Prayer, Courage

We're going through Nehemiah 1, and one of the questions asked about what we can learn about fear, courage, vision, prayer, and dependence on God from Nehemiah.

First, Nehemiah has the vision.  The messenger comes back and tells of the disgraceful state of Israel, and Nehemiah's heart breaks.  From that he gets the vision of going back and restoring Israel.

But what does it take for something to actually happen?  First of all, Nehmiah's a cupbearer, not a politician or a general, so he probably doesn't have a lot of experience or abilities that are relevant to the task he needs to carry out.  Second, much depends at this point on the will or favor of the king.  When Nehmiah presents his request to the king, if the king's in a bad mood, there's no way to move forward.  Success is outside of his ability to secure.

That is why vision can lead to fear, because there is something to fall short of.  With a vision of accomplishing some difficult task, just thinking of all the obstacles and measuring ourselves against them will naturally lead to fear, because the possibility of failure becomes real.

At this point, though, fear will bring the one who depends on God to prayer.  Recognizing that he's not able to secure success on his own, he turns to the Sovereign God in whose hands are all things: his own soul, the will of the king, and all future events.  From this prayer comes confidence.  This is not a foolhardy confidence, as would be the case if he was trusting in his own abilities.  Rather, this is a confidence that comes from the knowledge that God is with him.

I'm somewhere in the middle right now.  A little afraid to dream right now, actually, because there's a fear that I won't be able to do it all.  That it'll be too hard.  That I won't be able to handle the demands of work and ministry, that it'll be too physically and emotionally draining, that I won't be able to adjust.  Fear of failure.  And this fear threatens to restrict vision, because the more I aspire to, the more failure is possible.

I'm trying to turn to God and depend on him, trying to pray through this struggle.  Can I trust that God is sovereign?  That God has the whole world in his hands?  That he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus?

I really like that kind of bold confidence of being able to jump in headfirst, despite real possibility of failure.  If there's no chance of failure, it's probably too easy.  The possibility of losing makes winning fun.  Life without challenge would be a bore.  I want the courage to say "time to ante up and kick in...  like men!"

Soon.