Though the fig tree does not bud

In 9th grade, I remember being depressed at the thought that if I missed a day of school no one would notice. I wanted the fact of whether I was there or not to make a difference. I wanted my life to amount to something. I didn't want my life to be insignificant.

I built up much of my life around performing well. I was never very ambitious, I just needed a few areas to take pride in, things to which I could point to and say this is what sets me apart from the crowd. Satisfaction in life had a lot to do with achieving goals.

I think that's why it's upsetting for me when things don't go the way I want. I'd like to be in control, and I want something to show for all my work and effort. But when things aren't going well, then I realize that all my trophies, all the things I take pride in; they're all hollow and empty. "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field" (Isaiah 40:6).

I want something to show for my work. But what will I say when things don't go my way, when I have nothing to show for what I've done? I choose to say this:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior." (Habakkuk 3:17-18)