For what dreams do men live for? Dreams of glory, victory, success, comfort, pleasure. Grand, noble dreams. Dark, wicked dreams. Would living the dream satiate as drinking quenches thirst? Or, maybe, as salt water parches and pure water revives, so one dream destroys and another brings life.
As for I, I have had few dreams. Mostly I have just wanted to be happy. For my days to be filled with endless mirth. My senses have always been dull, oblivious to the finer details of life, preferring strong flavors and tastes. My vision grows worse and more shortsighted every year. What difference is there between I and any other animal? Seeing only what is before me, striving only for what I can see.
I wonder if animals will be judged on that wonderful and terrible day of judgment. Shall a dog who saved his master's life be given a hero's reward? Shall a serpent be damned for murdering a child? A judge of the living and the dead, worthy of his position, would know the nature of a dog and a snake, and give his verdict accordingly.
If I was judged according to the standards one would judge a dog, I would deserve praise. I would earn praise from my master and, if I was lucky, a biscuit. Oh, joy, biscuit! But what am I thinking? I am no dog. I am a man. And I will not be judged as a dog, as a ferret, or any other creature. I will be judged as a man.
Could it be that the aspirations and hopes of a dog are not worthy of a man? That much seems obvious. But for what dreams should men live for? Fame fades, pleasure becomes hollow, and fortune provides no utility once the mortal coil expires.
I dreamed a dream...
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Goodbye, Domestic Equity
For the past 8 months, I've been working in the Domestic Equity group at State Street. On Wednesday they announced that I'll be transferring to a new group this coming Monday, and getting [upgraded?] from a temporary status to full-time.
It's been a good 8 months. I've learned a lot, made friends, had a lot of boring days, busy days, and fun days. Yesterday felt much like the last day of a semester; I'll still be at the same school, but all the material and classmates will change.
I gave my farewell speech yesterday to the group. I was very nervous and fumbled a lot, but overall it was well-received. Earlier this week, these words from God to Moses in Exodus 4 were encouraging to me: "The Lord said to him, "Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."
Well, without further adieu, here's the text of the speech I gave. Enjoy!
________________________________________________________
When I was a kid, there was a time when I wanted to be a police officer. My other friends wanted to be firefighters, astronauts, doctors. I don’t think any of us grew up saying “Daddy, I want to be a fund accountant when I grow up!”… except, maybe, Dan's [Dan is my boss] kid. We wanted to do something good, something noble, make a difference in the world.
But while few go into the financial world hoping to make a positive difference, it’s our world that has, arguably, done the most harm in recent years. Our field can make a difference, for better or for worse.
There are good cops, and there are bad cops; there are good accountants and there are bad accountants. How can we regain that childhood dream of making the world a better place, regardless of the job we’re doing?
The Bible describes life as a stream of water, and the heart as the spring from which those waters flow. So whether we’re in Dom Eq or Intel, CalPERS or CalSTRS, if our hearts are good, our lives will be good too. Maybe not PPR good [yearly performance review], but the kind of good you’d be proud to tell your kid about.
Thank you all for your kindnesss during my time here, you’ve all been very good to me. Thank you.
It's been a good 8 months. I've learned a lot, made friends, had a lot of boring days, busy days, and fun days. Yesterday felt much like the last day of a semester; I'll still be at the same school, but all the material and classmates will change.
I gave my farewell speech yesterday to the group. I was very nervous and fumbled a lot, but overall it was well-received. Earlier this week, these words from God to Moses in Exodus 4 were encouraging to me: "The Lord said to him, "Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."
Well, without further adieu, here's the text of the speech I gave. Enjoy!
________________________________________________________
When I was a kid, there was a time when I wanted to be a police officer. My other friends wanted to be firefighters, astronauts, doctors. I don’t think any of us grew up saying “Daddy, I want to be a fund accountant when I grow up!”… except, maybe, Dan's [Dan is my boss] kid. We wanted to do something good, something noble, make a difference in the world.
But while few go into the financial world hoping to make a positive difference, it’s our world that has, arguably, done the most harm in recent years. Our field can make a difference, for better or for worse.
There are good cops, and there are bad cops; there are good accountants and there are bad accountants. How can we regain that childhood dream of making the world a better place, regardless of the job we’re doing?
The Bible describes life as a stream of water, and the heart as the spring from which those waters flow. So whether we’re in Dom Eq or Intel, CalPERS or CalSTRS, if our hearts are good, our lives will be good too. Maybe not PPR good [yearly performance review], but the kind of good you’d be proud to tell your kid about.
Thank you all for your kindnesss during my time here, you’ve all been very good to me. Thank you.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Psalm 78
Haven't blogged in a long time! Here's my reflection on what I read this morning.
"God's anger rose against them; he put to death the sturdiest among them, cutting down the young men of Israel. In spite of all this, they kept on sinning; in spite of his wonders, they did not believe. So he ended their days in futility and their years in terror. Whenever God slew them, they would seek him; they eagerly turned to him again. They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer. But then they would flatter him with their mouths, lying to him with their tongues; their hearts were not loyal to him, they were not faithful to his covenant. Yet he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath. He remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return." (Psalm 78:31-39).
The idea of God killing people so that they would turn to him is not very palatable. On the face of it, seems more tyrannical than loving. However, I think it's a bit like how they make natural gas smell like rotten eggs. It smells terrible and is really unpleasant. But given that the stuff will kill you, it would actually be more cruel to allow the gas to remain odorless. The bad smell is a life-giving warning sign.
From an eternal perspective, I believe this holds true too. If it really is true that when people die, they go to heaven or hell, then we would expect a loving God to use whatever means necessary, pleasant or unpleasant, to lead people to heaven.
On the other hand, more straightforwardly, sin deserves punishment. I gotta go right now so I can't elaborate about this too much right now. But while some may disagree with this in principle, in practice we would all agree. Aiy, gotta go.
"God's anger rose against them; he put to death the sturdiest among them, cutting down the young men of Israel. In spite of all this, they kept on sinning; in spite of his wonders, they did not believe. So he ended their days in futility and their years in terror. Whenever God slew them, they would seek him; they eagerly turned to him again. They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer. But then they would flatter him with their mouths, lying to him with their tongues; their hearts were not loyal to him, they were not faithful to his covenant. Yet he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath. He remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return." (Psalm 78:31-39).
The idea of God killing people so that they would turn to him is not very palatable. On the face of it, seems more tyrannical than loving. However, I think it's a bit like how they make natural gas smell like rotten eggs. It smells terrible and is really unpleasant. But given that the stuff will kill you, it would actually be more cruel to allow the gas to remain odorless. The bad smell is a life-giving warning sign.
From an eternal perspective, I believe this holds true too. If it really is true that when people die, they go to heaven or hell, then we would expect a loving God to use whatever means necessary, pleasant or unpleasant, to lead people to heaven.
On the other hand, more straightforwardly, sin deserves punishment. I gotta go right now so I can't elaborate about this too much right now. But while some may disagree with this in principle, in practice we would all agree. Aiy, gotta go.
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